Pregnancy conflict

In case of an unplanned pregnancy some women know directly whether they want to carry the pregnancy to term or rather have an abortion. But many others need time to make the decision and have to weigh pros and cons. Most women don’t make the decision on their own but together or in conflict with their partner or other family or close friends. Some women prefer not to talk to anybody. Independent counselling can be supportive and helpful.

• I need professional support, in order to be able to take the right decision »

  Most of the women, who visit our Counselling Centre, have already taken the decision to have an abortion, either on their own or after having discussed this issue with their partner, relatives or friends. Some of them are clearly determined from the first moment; others need several days or weeks.

  However, sometimes a strong internal conflict may arise in this situation: the inner voice says yes, meanwhile the reason speaks against carrying the pregnancy to term. Perhaps your partner doesn’t want to have the baby, and you would not like to lose him. Or you do not wish to have children, but your conscience doesn’t allow you to have an abortion.

  For this difficult situation we offer comprehensive advice, if necessary in several sessions. We are happy to support you in solving your conflict. The decision you take yourself is of eminent relevance and you should be able to live well with it.

  We are obliged to confidentiality. If you wish you can be counselled anonymously.

• What does an unwanted pregnancy mean for the woman’s partner? »

  At first a woman’s partner may also be shocked by an unwanted pregnancy. He may unexpectedly be faced by the question, whether he wants to become a father now. Here you find further information concerning this issue.

• What happens during the legally required counselling prior to an abortion? »

  You are the one to take the decision whether to have an abortion. You must not be influenced or patronized during the counselling session. However, the counselling should help to protect the unborn life. You should be encouraged to carry the pregnancy to term.

  The counsellor is supposed to record the counselling, but the information about you will remain anonymous. During the counselling session you will be asked for your reasons to have an abortion; however you are not obliged to answer the questions. You may ask all of your questions concerning the pregnancy as well as the abortion, e.g. financial and social assistance, medical or organizational questions on the abortion procedure, as well as the legal regulations concerning the costs or contraception. If you are determined to have the abortion, ask for a counselling certificate, which the doctor needs to have before performing the abortion.

• What do I have to do if I need an abortion? »

  You need a counselling certificate. You have to make an appointment at a clinic registered to perform abortions. You should know the different methods for performing abortions before making the appointment. In case you have only a small or no income, you can apply for coverage of the costs with your health insurance company. You have to do this before the abortion procedure, otherwise you have to pay the fees yourself (see also the information on legal regulations we provide).

• Do I have to expect negative mental consequences after an abortion? »

  Mental distress during and after an abortion is mostly overestimated. Many studies show that ongoing negative consequences are infrequent. Most women experience high levels of distress before the abortion when they have to make the decision and feel anxious about the procedure. After the procedure most women feel relieved. Some women feel sad and depressed for several weeks.

  Ongoing mental problems may be more common among women who had not been free to make the decision themselves because of pressure from relatives or a difficult life situation. Also moral objections of their community or insensitive treatment by health care providers can make coping more difficult, as well as the need to conceal the pregnancy and abortion or lack of support. The most important aspect is that you are free to take your own decision with as much time as possible. You can get professional support in a Family Planning Centre or in a counselling centre. Try to find people you can talk to and who will support you during the difficult time of the abortion. Above all, you should find a counselling centre and abortion clinic in which you are treated friendly and your decision is respected.

  The Family Planning Centre performed a study on this subject which was published in a book.